we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I believe in your delicious
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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