Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
