Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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