Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
