Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
