Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
