he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
All the doctor said was why
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
