my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize