just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
