Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
