Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Randomize
