There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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