come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
