doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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