Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
