Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
