Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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