you didnt know i had herpes?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
