All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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