I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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