I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
