i would punch a child for taco bell
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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