wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Damn victory sex feels great
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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