If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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