i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
