dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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