My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
