I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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