remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
We just shotgunned beers for America
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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