Your tits are I can't wait for
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
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when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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