We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize
