my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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