so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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