I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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