Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
