Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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