is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
