he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
