u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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