I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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