apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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