he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
