He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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