so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
