I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
