Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
