btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
