you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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