You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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