its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
