I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
