just come out here and I will go home with you...
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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