is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
She bit a glass in half.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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