My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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