You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
