Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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