You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
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