I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
