Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
