Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize