Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
