Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Never joke about your clitoris.
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