I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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