i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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