you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize