it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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