plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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