i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
