Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i believe in u and ur pee
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
