She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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